Monkey! – some new updates

Duffy & Shellie May

Happy Chinese New Year!

Some new updates – have got many trivial thoughts recently 🙂 Yes obviously no inherent logic here…

  • Accidentally talked about things like “career”, “future”, “goal” etc. with different people. Seems for many of them, or many in the society, their top priority is money/salary. I won’t say that I am totally unconcern about that but that’s where my first priority go to. Well being joyful is the most important thing in my view. 🙂 I guess reasons are, I’m confident enough in my ability that I won’t starve and can achieve more than that. And I have faith in God, believing that he will pave my path.
  • Understand that, as an outsider I am used to judging and even somehow easily getting mad, just as what I did to Hong Kong. But when we are home, seems things are more acceptable and we r more tolerant. Can it to some extent explain why my friends r not as angry as me? Coz we r in our hometown. Just as me now.
  • Wish happiness in the year of the Monkey! A new start means new hope. 🙂
  • One of my manual goals is don’t get bothered with guys. Sometimes I do look forward to innocent love but I have not yet prepared. It is also a release for me that a man who “claimed” to chase after me implied I am no longer his target today. Yea it saves us time of guessing reciprocally doesn’t it. Life is alway like that isn’t it. – One sideshow is that I just accidentally ran into Ex’s msgs saved in cloud storage. I just bravely deleted them all, like what I did before. I can’t say that it has no impact on me. I’m still touched. I still sigh with emotions. But I do know what’s gone is gone. Just let it go. I’m brave to say hi to one friend of his, as well as a younger school girl whose contact was deleted by me after breaking up. I say sorry to her today though haven’t get any response so far (maybe coz I’m on her black list?). Anyway it’s a big step for me to 和自己和解, isn’t it? So as for romance and relationship, I am…kind of too afraid to enter any state, which is the safest way for me to stay good. It’s not easy at all for me to open my heart. 🙂 Haha. Yea I’d rather say my priority and goal is getting back to Sydney hahaha. Please join me in praying…for the “still missing” offer…(Wailing) Hey I do miss u!
  • Today is also a tough day for me, just like before, becoz of the MK issue. I do feel disappointed for what some people say, supporting violence… I do feel heartbroken that my once lover city is no longer pure and clean, on the contrary it is in so much chaos. Seems many people are crazy and even poisoned. Indeed some of my friends are like that too, which scares me to a great extent. Sigh. I’m so worried and concerned about it, though my words and opinions may be regarded as strange from an outsider. – Yea speechless. In terms of many questions, the prerequisite of debate is that you understand, or recognize that I am a reasonable person. However in reality they just yell about where I am from (nationality) and be so proud of themselves (of acting like that), fermenting.
  • I am afraid of going back to Beijing, honestly, a place where most people act in a utilitarian way. It makes me think of the previous dilemma that I don’t know where I belong in so big a city. And where am I going, or should go? It is really a difficulty to me.
  • It is the second day of the Lunar New Year. I shouldn’t have been that emotional or pessimistic. 🙂 Let’s dance. Let’s sing. Let’s believe that there’s a brighter future for us. Yes there will be!

Happy New Year!

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